On the other hand, we also ate in the filthiest of alleys.  Some locals in Guangzhou took us to a late-night hot pot restaurant where we ate among drunk, shouting gamblers and eventually became ourselves drunk, shouting gamblers.  The bathrooms in this particular establishment – like most places in China – had no toilets, just holes in the ground.  They were so dirty that I literally peed on a rat as it scurried across the urinal trough to nibble on something I think was vomit.

Our shows were fantastic.  Some of the places we played, cities of 10 million people, had never had a live band playing original music before.  These virgin audiences were very excited and lined up for an hour afterward to have photos taken with us.  Somewhere out there are thousands of pictures of us looking oddly tall and doing the peace sign.

(Some very creative English over there… dairy section = Daintily Tasted)

After three weeks of amazing food, people and sights, we were sad to leave.  But we stuffed our suitcases as full as we possibly could with our haggled-over market goods and some mouth-numbing Sichuan peppers and vowed to return as soon as possible.

In Hamburg, someone in the audience told us after our show that she had previously lived in the apartment the Beatles lived in the 60s.  Because she sensed our enthusiasm, she urged us to go check it out and gave us the address.  She told us to ask for Karl, who she may or may not have known.  The next morning we rang a very very confused Karl’s doorbell.  I told him very slowly in English and broken German that we were Canadian tourists and he eventually let us in.  We went into the apartment and he said, did you know the Beatles used to live here?  I said, yes that is why we came.  He said, you may now feel the vibrations.   Apparently it’s not really advertised anywhere so you need some real inside information, which is why this doesn’t happen to Karl more often.  The last person to ask to come in was the guitarist for Iron Maiden!

Our German has improved to about a 3-year old level, which makes it easy to ask for bathrooms and food at least.  Slowly but surely, we are determined to massacre every language we possibly can.  It was awesome to get to Paris, where we could actually communicate!  And with a day off too.  We are so full of baguette and wine, you don’t even know.

Now we are in the UK, and looking forward to a half dozen shows here as well as one of our close friends’ marriage to a Scottish guy.  Proper traditional Scottish wedding, so if you ever wanted to see Immaculate Machine in kilts, just stay tuned for photos.  Please pass along the facebook events to anyone in the UK who might be interested – thanks!!!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=144145374009&index=1

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=166897462272&index=1

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=140190523386&index=1

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=252177595064&index=1

Our “world tour” starts in a few weeks!  We’ll be in Western Canada for the first half of September, starting with an absolutely free show for CFUV’s 25th anniversary and taking us to Winnipeg and back.  Good ol’ Exclaim! Magazine is sponsoring the tour.  We go to Europe for October, then fly back to New York for the CMJ Music Marathon and a Central/Eastern Canada tour.  The “world” part is really only justified by our probable tour of China in December.  Keep up to date here with our show calendar, or sign up for our newsletter.

We have also just finished filming a hilarious “post-apocalyptic bicycle gang battle video” for Only Love You For Your Car.  Keep your eyes peeled for that and more tour dates in Europe, Eastern Canada and China.

For those of you who don’t know, our old drummer Luke quit music and was replaced by Aden Collinge. And to make things weirder, Kathryn couldn’t tour with us because of some family reasons, so my first tour for the album was without both my long-time tour mates and old friends. But Kathryn played with us in Victoria and Luke got so drunk in the audience that he shoved his way up on stage and was drumming by the finale. Great fun, I tell you.

All in all, the shows have been fantastic and I can’t wait for more. We’ll be doing some more west coast dates in the summer. Then we are off to Europe in September, followed by CMJ and some Eastern Canada/US stops.

We are in Ontario promoting it with some shows. We started off with a humbling all ages gig in Brantford then had a couple packed houses in Sudbury and Sault Ste Marie. Unless you’re from one of those places, you probably think I’m just making them up. Yes they are small, but disproportionately fun for their size! Don’t worry – tomorrow, we’ll be in Toronto, then Montreal, Ottawa, New York.

Although we are on tour right now, we spent our release day in Owen Sound, Ontario with a day off. We jammed a little with my uncle and my cousin. We ate at Mr. Sub which was just terrible. The employee there was a young girl who told of how the place had been robbed at gun point the previous night, so she was scared to work (maybe her sandwich artistry suffered as a result). You know what her boss told her??? So small town… he said “I hope it doesn’t happen again, but if it does, whatever you do don’t give them the money.” Crazy stuff.

LP: http://www.maplemusic.com/..product.asp?dept%5Fid=2880&pf%..5Fid=2875%2D119<=EN

CD: http://www.maplemusic.com/..product.asp?dept%5Fid=2877&pf%..5Fid=2875%2D118<=EN

Buy the vinyl, I think it comes with a download and you get to see the artwork huuuge!  You can wear the cardboard sleeve as a mask on halloween if you cut out where the eyeholes on the mountain are.  I once did that with Neil Diamond’s Greatest Hits, kind of a lazy costume but what can you do.

We will be on tour starting April 24 in Brantford, ON.  We are sad to say that Kathryn won’t be able to make it to a lot of these shows.  She is tied to Victoria with an illness in the family.  If you are able to come to Victoria May 9 you can see the whole crew, otherwise we will do it for you sans keyboard.

Fri Apr 24: BRANTFORD – Ford Plant

Sat Apr 25: SUDBURY – Townehouse

Sun Apr 26: SAULT STE MARIE – Arcadia

Wed Apr 29: WINDSOR – Phog Lounge

Thu Apr 30: TORONTO – The Drake

Fri May 1: MONTREAL – Club Lambi

at May 2: OTTAWA – BC Scene @ Babylon

Mon May 4: NEW YORK – Piano’s

Tue May 5: HAMILTON – Casbah

Fri May 8: VANCOUVER – Biltmore

Sat May 9: VICTORIA – Logan’s

Fri May 15: SEATTLE – Easy Street Records